Starting blogging again??
Monday, April 20, 2015
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Should start writing again
2011 is coming to end . So far , it has been very good year . Got EE award , did some great work in office . IN personal life also , got engaged and getting married on 3 Dec .
I dont know why I just stopped blogging . In FY11 , i thought to keep writing here and also to maintain technical blog and diary . like other year resolution , this year resolution seems to be unfulled ...:) Not good thing ..
i should try to be more discipline.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Regrets of Dying
I copied this blog from Bronni ware's post
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Why I returned by iPad
via HBR.org by Peter Bregman on 6/15/10
A little more than a week after buying the iPad, I returned it to Apple. The problem wasn't the iPad exactly, though it has some flaws. The problem was me.
I like technology, but I'm not an early adopter. I waited for the second-generation iPod, the second-generation iPhone, and the second-generation MacBook Air.
But the iPad was different. So sleek. So cool. So transformational. And, I figured, since it's so similar to the iPhone, most of the kinks would already be worked out.
So at 4 PM on the day the 3G iPad was released, for the first time in my life, I waited in line for two hours to make a purchase.
I set up my iPad in the store because I wanted to make sure I could start using it the very moment I bought it. And use it I did. I carried it with me everywhere; it's so small and thin and light, why not bring it along?
I did my email on it, of course. But I also wrote articles using Pages. I watched episodes ofWeeds on Netflix. I checked the news, the weather, and the traffic. And, of course, I proudly showed it to, well, anyone who indicated the least bit of interest. (That could be a whole post in itself. We proudly show off new purchases as though simply possessing them is some form of accomplishment. Why? I didn't create the iPad. I just bought one.)
It didn't take long for me to encounter the dark side of this revolutionary device: it's too good.
It's too easy. Too accessible. Both too fast and too long-lasting. Certainly there are some kinks, but nothing monumental. For the most part, it does everything I could want. Which, as it turns out, is a problem.
Sure I might want to watch an episode of Weeds before going to sleep. But should I? It really is hard to stop after just one episode. And two hours later, I'm entertained and tired, but am I really better off? Or would it have been better to get seven hours of sleep instead of five?
The brilliance of the iPad is that it's the anytime-anywhere computer. On the subway. In the hall waiting for the elevator. In a car on the way to the airport. Any free moment becomes a potential iPad moment.
The iPhone can do roughly the same thing, but not exactly. Who wants to watch a movie in bed on an iPhone?
So why is this a problem? It sounds like I was super-productive. Every extra minute, I was either producing or consuming.
But something — more than just sleep, though that's critical too — is lost in the busyness. Something too valuable to lose.
Boredom.
Being bored is a precious thing, a state of mind we should pursue. Once boredom sets in, our minds begin to wander, looking for something exciting, something interesting to land on. And that's where creativity arises.
My best ideas come to me when I am unproductive. When I am running but not listening to my iPod. When I am sitting, doing nothing, waiting for someone. When I am lying in bed as my mind wanders before falling to sleep. These "wasted" moments, moments not filled with anything in particular, are vital.
They are the moments in which we, often unconsciously, organize our minds, make sense of our lives, and connect the dots. They're the moments in which we talk to ourselves. And listen.
To lose those moments, to replace them with tasks and efficiency, is a mistake. What's worse is that we don't just lose them. We actively throw them away.
"That's not a problem with the iPad," my brother Anthony — who I feel compelled to mention is currently producing a movie called My Idiot Brother — pointed out. "It's a problem with you. Just don't use it as much."
Guilty as charged. It is a problem with me. I can't not use it if it's there. And, unfortunately, it's always there. So I returned it. Problem solved.
But it did teach me something about the value of boredom. And I'm far more conscious now of using those extra moments, the in-between time, the walking and riding and waiting time, to let my mind wander.
Around the same time I returned my iPad, I noticed that my eight-year-old daughter Isabelle was unbelievably busy from the moment she got home from school to the moment she went to bed. Bathing, reading, playing guitar, eating dinner, doing homework, she was non-stop until I rushed her off to bed. Once in bed she would try to talk to me but, worried about how little sleep she was getting, I would shush her, urging her to go to sleep.
We have a new ritual now, and it really has become my favorite part of the day. I put her to bed 15 minutes earlier than before. She crawls into bed and, instead of shushing her, I lie next to her and we just talk. She talks about things that happened that day, things she's worried about, things she's curious or thinking about. I listen and ask her questions. We laugh together. And our minds just wander.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I just miss my friends …..
I changed couple of schools but never had any nostalgia feeling . Same with college .. May be , I always had a good friend circle near residence place .
When i left Delhi and came to hyderabad . I landed up in a org which has very less attrition rate . More over , i was staying in environment totally different from where i came from. There was very less contact with external world . So office people became family . I managed a good friend circle and some 3 years ago , one of my friend in that circle left . This is the first time , i felt really odd …. But Time passes by ..
Some good friends either left the company or got transfered to USA or got into different teams or got married .
When ever some one leaves , whom i really cares about . I generally used to say couple of things to myself..
1. Nature does not support vacuum.
2. Shawshank Redemption dialogue “Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”
Just within last couple of months , All my good friends either left or planning to shift .. Some times , It feel so bad and lonely when i found them leaving .. as you grow older , it is very difficult to make new friends . Generally , you start judging people . ..
I was talking to my friend who is also leaving and he told me that it is better not to discuss this feeling with any one because sharing this feeling is of no use … One of the good thing which he told is
“Let them leave .. u did not marry with them so why you were expecting a long term commitment “ ..
I really liked this ..
May be separation is always important .. I hope I will grow up more and have more mature personality when my good friends leave …. :(
But yeah …. I just miss my friends .
When i left Delhi and came to hyderabad . I landed up in a org which has very less attrition rate . More over , i was staying in environment totally different from where i came from. There was very less contact with external world . So office people became family . I managed a good friend circle and some 3 years ago , one of my friend in that circle left . This is the first time , i felt really odd …. But Time passes by ..
Some good friends either left the company or got transfered to USA or got into different teams or got married .
When ever some one leaves , whom i really cares about . I generally used to say couple of things to myself..
1. Nature does not support vacuum.
2. Shawshank Redemption dialogue “Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”
Just within last couple of months , All my good friends either left or planning to shift .. Some times , It feel so bad and lonely when i found them leaving .. as you grow older , it is very difficult to make new friends . Generally , you start judging people . ..
I was talking to my friend who is also leaving and he told me that it is better not to discuss this feeling with any one because sharing this feeling is of no use … One of the good thing which he told is
“Let them leave .. u did not marry with them so why you were expecting a long term commitment “ ..
I really liked this ..
May be separation is always important .. I hope I will grow up more and have more mature personality when my good friends leave …. :(
But yeah …. I just miss my friends .
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Parenting – Tough job
Some time ago , I was having some discussion with my mom over phone on some important point . We both were not in sync and some how my tone got changed …. ( My Bad :( ) . My mom sensed it out and just hung up the phone saying that you would understand whey you become father …
Any way this was not the first time I heard this sarcasm from her and I guess not the last time , at least till I really become one . I generally don’t pay much attention on such comments as I am sure when I call her . Both of us will be normal after a heated discussion and that is common for any parent – child relationship. But this time , i put some thought on this .. Reasons could be as some of my friends got married or some become / going to become parents soon or I had to pass the time or find some topic for blog :)
I tried to see parent – child issues from parent side . So , we should start from married life . Married life is bliss for most of the people i know . But one thing i noticed that after marriage people get into new commitments for their spouse and they had to lessen their activity with their office / non office group . So .. I guess it is the first sacrifice :) .. During the pregnancy, working woman had to do some compromise with office work .. Carrying a baby for whole 9 months not an easy job . ..
For 1- 5 years , it is very critical period for baby .. Protecting your clothes , learning to change dipers or keeping awake whole night as child sleeping time does not match . Try to teach basics like ABC or 123 and keep listening it again and again … Remembering all dates for vaccination or saving your papers when child starts learning to walk.
5 –10 years , getting admission in school , picking from school , teaching new stuff , start liking cartoon networks or telling bed time stories or attending B’day parties
Teen age : Very difficult time , Replying on tough questions like why hair - on the arms , legs , and other unimaginable places - what good does that do anyone ? or for some Girls .. some games become tough like soccer .. Boys .. harder time with the body hair and the high-pitched fluctuations of a breaking voice , not to mention acne..Teaching how to adapt with first heart burns .. or adapting them to cut throat competition .
18-22 : Career Career :) ..Only one question ::: kaya banoga ( what will you become ) ? Whether my child get into good college .. And after college whether he / she will get some good jobs .. Moreover , Children also start challenging the parents… Generations gap start looking more visible ….
22 – 30 : Parents got in tension of getting child into a job and after that .. either searching for child’s spouse ( if arranged ) or may be coping with children’s choice ( love ) .. or may be nothing …
I think , parenting is not an easy job .. Sometimes we just start taking our parents for granted as we know that our parents will forgive us as they love us …. Dont take for granted as it is short life …
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Naseeruddin and his son
Last month , I was in Delhi . My nephew ( 6 years old ) visited me . He bought one story book which he asked me to read for him ...
I picked one of Naseeruddin story believing that it would have some jokes .. But it turn another but interesting way ..... Jotting down the story in brief
Once , Naseeruddin and his son were passing through a city with their donkey. Naseeruddin was walking , while his son sat on the donkey . As they passed by a group of people, on of them said "Look, how selfish this boy is! He is riding on the donkey, while his poor father is walking."
The boy felt embarrassed
and the two reversed the arrangement. Now the people remarked, " What a cruel father he is! The little boy is walking and he is riding on the donkey."
and the two reversed the arrangement. Now the people remarked, " What a cruel father he is! The little boy is walking and he is riding on the donkey."
Soon, they came across another group of people . Again , they heard a remark , "What a cruel father he is ! His Little boy is walking and he is riding on the donkey "
The remark upset Naseeruddin . He decided that both of t hem would ride on the donkey . Soon , the donkey started walking with both the father and the son on his back .
As they both rode , they passed by another group of people . One of them said , " Look at them , how cruel they are ! Both of them are riding on the donkey."
Hearing this , Naseeruddin suggested his son both of them should walk . The child agreed , and the three started walking.
Soon , they came across another group of people , and heard the remark , : look at these fools . Both of them are walking and neither is riding on the donkey."
Hearing this , Naseeruddin advised his son not to listen to people and follow his heart to do the right thing . Thereafter , the father and the son never bothered what the people said , and did what they felt right.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Tips for Advancing your career
You own your career and have the best interest in being successful. Everyone should be the primary force behind planning their own career and putting enough thought towards reaching their goals. Your managers can and should help and guide you in planning but they cannot be responsible for it.
Six areas that will help advance and plan your career are:
Here are some thoughts on each one of these areas:
Developing a vision for yourself will help you determine a clear destination and direction. A Personal Vision will also assist you in avoiding detours from your overall career goals which will get you to your destination faster. It will help you make decisions about projects, jobs, and skills that will assist you in achieving your goals. Here are tips to help with the long-term planning and the achievement of your goals:
· Set Goals Aligned to Your Division - Seek to understand the hard customer or engineering issues facing your Division and align your goals with solutions to those issues. Addressing things that are of upmost importance to your team and larger group will get more visibility and advance your career faster.
- Become a Subject Matter Expert (SME) - Create a long term goal to develop expertise in a critical area that you are passionate about. Experts in key areas get the best assignments, enjoy their work more than others, and advance quickly in their careers.
- Be Patient and Work On It! - People become passionate about areas that they understand in great depth. It takes time to reach this level of depth. Grow expertise gradually. Every day counts! Improve your skills, execution of plans, and character (Attitude, Beliefs, and Values) incrementally to reach your goals - selecting the best projects and environment to aid in your growth.
- Monitor Your Progress - Your long-term plan needs short milestones to monitor your success against your goals.
- Enjoy the Journey - It is very rewarding to plan a challenging goal and to reach it.
Once you have a vision, a plan, and short-term milestones, you need to passionately drive for results. The short-term work items in your plan should go beyond the work goals and should include improving your skills. Solid execution means delivering reliably, creatively, and at very high quality.. Developing your own standard of excellence helps significantly in developing your credibility and reputation. Here are more tips to help you in planning and execution:
- The Secret Sauce: Enjoy What You Do - in the long-term, execution is not just about hard and creative high-quality work. To be successful, one needs to:
- Enjoy and be passionate about your work.
- Maintain balance in work, life, family, and other areas competing for time and attention.
- Prioritize and Focus - Always keep a prioritized list of things you need to do and focus on the most important items.
- Plan for all Possible Scenarios - People who do successful planning for a large product or even a small meeting have one thing in common. They can think and visualize the different scenarios that might happen during the execution in great detail (this usually needs going over these scenarios in detail with persistence and patience).
- Deliver - Delivering on your commitments and making things happen is a very enjoyable but difficult process. Many people have great ideas but they can’t get them implemented because of lack of discipline, detailed planning, and/or follow-up. This negatively impacts their careers.
- Have a Reputation for Getting Things Done - This will make it easier for you to get the most important and visible assignments and all the resources to do them.
- Produce High Quality Work – Better than expected quality, product, or results gets attention and sets you up for more challenging assignments in the future.
- Shine Through Challenges - Execution is considered outstanding when it meets a challenging schedule or creatively solves a historically challenging problem.
- Monitor and Continuously Re-Evaluate Your Goals - As part of monitoring execution, it is good to revise your goals periodically to adjust your long-term goals.
Your Skill Set
Advancing your technical, communication, people, and leadership skills is essential to getting interesting assignments and advancing your career. Some skills can take years to develop. Therefore, people who put off the improvement of their skills are impacting the type of assignments that are given or can select. Here are tips about some of the skills you need:
- Technical Skills - Work on advancing your technical skills with every project and assignment (e.g, development, planning, strategy, debugging, testing technologies, performance analysis, customer scenarios, customer requirements, quality, architecture and understanding the ecosystem) to reach your overall goals. Technical skills about high quality engineering is particularly important -- developing the right products for our customers and building our products in the right way.
- Communication Skills – Sharpen your communication and presentation skills to increase visibility of your ideas and your impact on others. The most important characteristic for leadership is good communication.
- People Skills – These are essential skills for individual contributors as well as leads. This includes team-work, listening skills, sensitivity to others, emotional intelligence, social skills, … For managers, people skills include connecting to their teams, recruiting great talents, and developing people over time.
- Leadership skills – These skills are essential for leads and managers. There are many good books to read in this area, as well as courses offered by the Management Development Group. A golden rule in leading a team is “Love them and lead them”. Also, you need to have distinguishing technical and/or personality attributes for people to follow you (you can’t depend on authority alone). You also need to be way ahead of your group in thinking of vision, strategy, and direction to lead your group well.
- Training – Make sure you read books and journals and expand your knowledge by attending relevant talks, seminars, courses, and conferences. Take advantage of the frequent and wide-ranging internal seminars and research presentations as well as external talks (e.g.. webcasts from strong university programs).
- Incremental Progress - Expand your skills and expertise incrementally. It is amazing to see the difference in skills and progress achieved over several years as a result of the accumulation of persistent small improvements every day.
Acquiring the right attitude, values and beliefs will give you energy and commitment to continue being productive. Attitude and beliefs develop as you gain confidence in your abilities and believe in your work. Here are some tips to improve your attitude and beliefs:
- Seek Traits of Successful People - There are excellent books in this area. Reading will help in pointing out what attitudes you need for success, understand the negative habits that are impacting you and others (so you can get rid of them), and recognizing why people around you are succeeding or failing. In a way, books will help you understand actions and reactions of yourself and others. Some important characteristics are passion, responsiveness, energy, discipline, patience, persistence, endurance, cooperation, modesty, expressing gratitude, taking risks, being proactive and appreciation of others. As you understand your strengths, polish them for long term success..
- Practice Makes Perfect - There are so many attitudes and beliefs that are helpful for success and it is not easy to acquire new ones. Only months and often years of persistence and practice can impact your character – but it’s worth it!
- Discover Your Weakness - Some very skilled and experienced people don’t realize their full potential because of weaknesses in their character (no respect/appreciation for others, arrogance, lack of maturity, childish behavior, uncontrolled temper, negative attitude, selfishness, intolerance, insensitivity,. etc). Realizing one’s weaknesses is the first step towards improving one’s character. If these people knew the opportunities they miss, they would have planned major changes to their behavior.
A great project is the most important method to improve your planning, execution, skills, and character. Selecting the projects you work on is important in reaching your short and long-term goals and in gaining the confidence and skills to do bigger and more important projects. If you have great ideas, you might be able to suggest a project to work on based on these ideas. Realize however, you may not get some exciting projects until you prove you are reliable and have the skills to see a complete project through. Here are some tips about project selection:
- Be Realistic - Some people fail in their projects because of the gap between what is required by a given project and the skills, character, execution, and planning capabilities they possess. Therefore, you need to understand your capabilities and be honest with others and yourself about what you can do.
- Evaluate Project Visibility and Importance - You need to determine how visible and important the project is that you are about to work on. Visible and important projects make a greater impact on your career. Interesting projects that have bad business plans are likely to be cancelled.
- Does This Assignment Help You Grow? - You need to determine how the project will help your skills and your ability to work on interesting future projects.
- Follow Through – Important: If you start a mission, take it to completion.
- Take Ownership - As your experience improves, getting ownership of an important project is essential for progress and success.
- Innovation – You need to have an exciting vision and innovative ideas to energize yourself and your teams. It is essential for the group’s long-term success.
Finally, some comments about the environment that you are working in:
- Right Place, Right Time - It is very important to be in the right team and have supporting management to reach your goals and achieve your maximum potential. You need to select a team that will challenge you, help you learn, and give you opportunities to grow.
- Know What to Avoid - Avoid teams that have political infighting or have severe management problems. Working in these teams will only waste your time and energy.
- Choose an Encouraging Environment - Appreciation and gratitude expressed from the managers and the team members to each other creates a very healthy and productive environment.
- Communicate With Your Manager - Communicate closely with your manager about your progress, your challenges, your career, your expectations, etc. This removes any possible misunderstanding about your deliverables. Frequent one-on-ones are the best method for tracking and revising short-term and long-term milestones and goals. There should be few surprises at review time.
- Get Your Manager’s Support – Let your manager know what support you need from him/her to reach your goals.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Koooool !!
oLike any one, I have different definitions of Koool which keep changing with age and environment ..
I remember when I was school boy, for me being Kool means bringing sandwitches or italian food in school tiffins [At that time there was no Pizza hut :)] or having full collection of WWF or cricket's trump cards or moving around in school suits or hanging around Chanakya cinemas’s Nirulas or different places in Delhi with gang or getting in good college. Also everyone has different definitions like some want to become monitor or prefect was a Kool stuff but for me it was so unKool .. Takes away my freedom :).
In college , Being Kool means having different mobile sets [ mobile set came around that time only ] or having broadband at home [ It was also new at that time ] or coming to college in car or bikes [ CBZ and pulsar :) ] or getting dressed up in brands of UCB / Reebok / Nike or knowing all english songs or having great accent or watching friends [ Ha Ha Ha] or watching english movies on desktop or listing Rock or having new gizmos or landing up in good company or cracking CAT / GRE was kool .
Later in Job... Being Kool means getting cabin or getting out of turn promotions or good rewards or rating or ... hoping around good companies or starting up a successful start ups or having a great friend circle or going out for lunch or watching different movies in halls or having interesting stuff to tell what you did on weekend or going to foreign locations for holidays or buying SUV / sedan or trying different eating or attending some concerts or partying around or having really expensive gizmos as they launched became definition of Koool [ Ha Ha Ha ] ...
May be later .. Being Kool may be being well settled in family and professional life .. God Knows :)
As time goes on, we can see definition is changing.... I think most of these things are quite materialistic....
In my life, whether school or college or job, I saw many people show above things of being Kool ... but i saw them collapsing when they could not get admission in good college or good company or their friends / family left them or they failed in job interviews or missed some promotions or struck in same stuff for long or IN SHORT ... when things are not going according to their plans.... I know.. Getting depressed on failures quite natural .. What unKool is when you just make mountain out of molehills on initial blows and start living in pain ..
I think being Koool means how you behave when things are not going well... how you keep your brain at ease when things are not going according .. How you talk with others sensibly when you have lot of other problems going in your mind... or how is your emotional level when you loose something very important..or how is your decision making when road ahead is blocked or you moved too far away and lost...or how you are nice but still don’t allow anyone to take use of you .. or how you take decisions when things are ambiguous . Being Koool does not mean only stop worry but also to find solution of the problem without losing calm of yours and surroundings...
No doubt, age (experience) has big role in being real Kool .. Through out of my life , In my peer group , found three people ( one from college and two from office)whom i will say Kool because they showed how Kool they were when things were really not favorable ..
I will avoid quoting the names.. I just asked one my Koooolest friend when he was facing one of his big problem.. Dude .. How can be so calm and compose when you are against this hell [issue]
He gave me some tips:-
1. Think whether it will be issue in next 5 years: - When something worry you too much ask this question.. This will help in weeding out stuff which is not worthy to worry about. [I am trying this ... Not an easy stuff to put in habit]
2. Have a life: - Think about stuff which really excites you... Don’t think how its face value in external world. It could be blogging, sketching, playing guitar , working out in gym, reading or even gossiping
Some other things i liked [from other source]
3. Don't take yourself (or things) so serious [ source : Fountain Head] : It will certainly remove the stress .Life will be more fun ... Don’t think world moves around you or think too much what world will say about your actions [ Believe me people have short memory and no one has time to think about you except you are a manager :) ]
4. Live in the present [Famous Sunscreen song]: Most of the problems we think.. never happens ... Baz Luhrmann's SunScreen explains it best "Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday."
Not easy tips J .. Its very hard to change ….. J but not impossible.
At the end we all want to be Koool .. We all want to enjoy the life .. May be the definitions be different ..may be path to reach it be different .. But if we want it .. we have to work for it .. As nothing comes for free ….
I remember when I was school boy, for me being Kool means bringing sandwitches or italian food in school tiffins [At that time there was no Pizza hut :)] or having full collection of WWF or cricket's trump cards or moving around in school suits or hanging around Chanakya cinemas’s Nirulas or different places in Delhi with gang or getting in good college. Also everyone has different definitions like some want to become monitor or prefect was a Kool stuff but for me it was so unKool .. Takes away my freedom :).
In college , Being Kool means having different mobile sets [ mobile set came around that time only ] or having broadband at home [ It was also new at that time ] or coming to college in car or bikes [ CBZ and pulsar :) ] or getting dressed up in brands of UCB / Reebok / Nike or knowing all english songs or having great accent or watching friends [ Ha Ha Ha] or watching english movies on desktop or listing Rock or having new gizmos or landing up in good company or cracking CAT / GRE was kool .
Later in Job... Being Kool means getting cabin or getting out of turn promotions or good rewards or rating or ... hoping around good companies or starting up a successful start ups or having a great friend circle or going out for lunch or watching different movies in halls or having interesting stuff to tell what you did on weekend or going to foreign locations for holidays or buying SUV / sedan or trying different eating or attending some concerts or partying around or having really expensive gizmos as they launched became definition of Koool [ Ha Ha Ha ] ...
May be later .. Being Kool may be being well settled in family and professional life .. God Knows :)
As time goes on, we can see definition is changing.... I think most of these things are quite materialistic....
In my life, whether school or college or job, I saw many people show above things of being Kool ... but i saw them collapsing when they could not get admission in good college or good company or their friends / family left them or they failed in job interviews or missed some promotions or struck in same stuff for long or IN SHORT ... when things are not going according to their plans.... I know.. Getting depressed on failures quite natural .. What unKool is when you just make mountain out of molehills on initial blows and start living in pain ..
I think being Koool means how you behave when things are not going well... how you keep your brain at ease when things are not going according .. How you talk with others sensibly when you have lot of other problems going in your mind... or how is your emotional level when you loose something very important..or how is your decision making when road ahead is blocked or you moved too far away and lost...or how you are nice but still don’t allow anyone to take use of you .. or how you take decisions when things are ambiguous . Being Koool does not mean only stop worry but also to find solution of the problem without losing calm of yours and surroundings...
No doubt, age (experience) has big role in being real Kool .. Through out of my life , In my peer group , found three people ( one from college and two from office)whom i will say Kool because they showed how Kool they were when things were really not favorable ..
I will avoid quoting the names.. I just asked one my Koooolest friend when he was facing one of his big problem.. Dude .. How can be so calm and compose when you are against this hell [issue]
He gave me some tips:-
1. Think whether it will be issue in next 5 years: - When something worry you too much ask this question.. This will help in weeding out stuff which is not worthy to worry about. [I am trying this ... Not an easy stuff to put in habit]
2. Have a life: - Think about stuff which really excites you... Don’t think how its face value in external world. It could be blogging, sketching, playing guitar , working out in gym, reading or even gossiping
Some other things i liked [from other source]
3. Don't take yourself (or things) so serious [ source : Fountain Head] : It will certainly remove the stress .Life will be more fun ... Don’t think world moves around you or think too much what world will say about your actions [ Believe me people have short memory and no one has time to think about you except you are a manager :) ]
4. Live in the present [Famous Sunscreen song]: Most of the problems we think.. never happens ... Baz Luhrmann's SunScreen explains it best "Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday."
Not easy tips J .. Its very hard to change ….. J but not impossible.
At the end we all want to be Koool .. We all want to enjoy the life .. May be the definitions be different ..may be path to reach it be different .. But if we want it .. we have to work for it .. As nothing comes for free ….
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Story of two old friends – Jags and Vicky
met with Jags aka Jaggu dada aka bengali first time some 17 years ago in my school . He was one of the biggest bully , I have encountered in school. At that time , He was taller and stronger than his peers . He knew all kind of words which we even did not know the meaning at that time . Those words seems new in dictionary .. Only thing we knew that we are not supposed to ask their meaning from elders :) . I was good student ... Life was going fine ... There were small - small fights over missing lunch box or pencil box lost or summer vacations assignments missing but life was fun :) ..
In 7th standard , on one fine day ... Jags and I got involved in a fight and I broke my leg :) .. Ha Ha .. Jags and Bunny ( Pankaj Baniyawal , another bully) dropped me at home instructing about code of conduct that i am not supposed to tell how it happened ....I reached home and told my sisters that It just happened while playing :) .. But my happiness were short lived as one of my caring friend dropped home in evening and told whole incidence to my sister .. My sister went to school next day and told everything to Pricipal . Grrr .. I dont know why ???? :) .. when class came to know about the complaint .. I became subject of shame in peers as I broke the bro's code of conducts ...... Jags was asked to come in staff room and I don’t know what happened inside but he came back with cool face that nothing happened in staff room ( Lyer :) ) .. I wish story ended here but it's not :( ... Couple of my locality friend , got hold of Jags after school and gave him a little thrash . My friends did not tell me about this .This might have given image boost and ego satisfaction to my locality friend but it ignited the matter . On next day , when i reached school with broken leg .. I got to know whole incidence and Man.. I was become villain .. I remember , next day in assembly , my principal told " I will not tell the name of student..but one student who got his leg fractured asked outside people to resolve conflict .. This is wrong .. Talk with teachers .. Oppss looks the guts of 7th standard student ..Grrr " .. ... Yes .. Thanks Principi .. You did best effort to hide my identity ... All teachers saw me as they did not expect me that i could have done that ... I was thinking .. Yaar .. I got my leg fractured .. I did not call any one .. and still i am getting blamed ...... And during lunch recession , Jags was laughing like hell .. Making my wounds more severe :)
But after this incidence , Bully group stopped bullying me . I guess they were little bit impressed that my local friends involved in matter without my asking and moreover feeling guilty that i am coming school for whole 6 weeks with broken leg .. Other group did not like ( or scared ) with whole incidence ...... This was my first experience of changing group dynamic ism . Jags and his friends became my friends . I started helping them in assignments and in exams cheating .. They helped me in bunking classes by including me in Scouts or Sports practice . Jags and I became good friends . I still remember , we used to go to Priya and used to stand in long queues for 12 Rs ticket . I used to run away from my lawn 's gate and took my sister's scooty to go to Chanakya for night show with Jags and other friends. We used to go to Pragati Maidan ( which was free ) and used to jump to Appu Ghar ( which was paid ) :) as both have same boundary . Did all possible styles with tie , blazers , pull overs and tucking of shirts thinking that we were looking Kool .. :) . Tried to become each other wing man also :) . Giving innovative names to teachers , stealing people lunch or making monitor mess :) . Hanging out in newly built Delhi hat bazaar on week end Or Reaching Lodhi Garden or Sanjay park every morning on summer vacations. Going for local cricket championship ..(Jags and other folks were really good cricker .. I was average player but was on good improving curve ) or searching Palika Bazar for new video game CD or new Rolex / Omega watch from street hawkers :)
I started going to Jags's home and it was my first experience to Bengali culture . He was very strict in attending evening pooja .. I also sometimes sit with him for this and went to couple of times in CR park. Jags used to play harmonium for prayer .. It was so great .. I tried to learn but my mind was so fickle to learn any music instrument.. ..It stated my desire to learn any music insturment . Jags was different preson in home. He got great etiquette and has rich vocab ( Two diverse vocab set : ) . My first experience with multi personality person :) ) With so much masti , we both improved our grades . I was topper in school and Jags was coming 3 rd .
I changed the school because of some reasons . Jags and I both changed our place . I met with Jags after 12 years on this Jan ( Thanks Orkut !! ) .. I could not talk with him much as it was small get together . .
I came to Delhi on this March and decided to met with him in person .. Before meeting in person with Jags .. I was worried what we will talk as there is whole disconnect of 12 years ..But when we met .. we just talked like as there was no disconnect .. I think this is the quality of old and real friends , whenever you met them ., you will not find disconnect It was so fun to meet with old friend . This guy liked our conversation so much that he took office off on Monday ...
Currently , Jags also started playing guitar . I was getting bore so he gave me his guitar and tried to taught me couple of songs... All in vain :) Attaching One prayer ( Bengali ) and one song .. Jags is singing
Currently , Jags is trying to go to UK for MBA studies .He is a lead in Delhi based company. Vicky is in working in IT company. .
In 7th standard , on one fine day ... Jags and I got involved in a fight and I broke my leg :) .. Ha Ha .. Jags and Bunny ( Pankaj Baniyawal , another bully) dropped me at home instructing about code of conduct that i am not supposed to tell how it happened ....I reached home and told my sisters that It just happened while playing :) .. But my happiness were short lived as one of my caring friend dropped home in evening and told whole incidence to my sister .. My sister went to school next day and told everything to Pricipal . Grrr .. I dont know why ???? :) .. when class came to know about the complaint .. I became subject of shame in peers as I broke the bro's code of conducts ...... Jags was asked to come in staff room and I don’t know what happened inside but he came back with cool face that nothing happened in staff room ( Lyer :) ) .. I wish story ended here but it's not :( ... Couple of my locality friend , got hold of Jags after school and gave him a little thrash . My friends did not tell me about this .This might have given image boost and ego satisfaction to my locality friend but it ignited the matter . On next day , when i reached school with broken leg .. I got to know whole incidence and Man.. I was become villain .. I remember , next day in assembly , my principal told " I will not tell the name of student..but one student who got his leg fractured asked outside people to resolve conflict .. This is wrong .. Talk with teachers .. Oppss looks the guts of 7th standard student ..Grrr " .. ... Yes .. Thanks Principi .. You did best effort to hide my identity ... All teachers saw me as they did not expect me that i could have done that ... I was thinking .. Yaar .. I got my leg fractured .. I did not call any one .. and still i am getting blamed ...... And during lunch recession , Jags was laughing like hell .. Making my wounds more severe :)
But after this incidence , Bully group stopped bullying me . I guess they were little bit impressed that my local friends involved in matter without my asking and moreover feeling guilty that i am coming school for whole 6 weeks with broken leg .. Other group did not like ( or scared ) with whole incidence ...... This was my first experience of changing group dynamic ism . Jags and his friends became my friends . I started helping them in assignments and in exams cheating .. They helped me in bunking classes by including me in Scouts or Sports practice . Jags and I became good friends . I still remember , we used to go to Priya and used to stand in long queues for 12 Rs ticket . I used to run away from my lawn 's gate and took my sister's scooty to go to Chanakya for night show with Jags and other friends. We used to go to Pragati Maidan ( which was free ) and used to jump to Appu Ghar ( which was paid ) :) as both have same boundary . Did all possible styles with tie , blazers , pull overs and tucking of shirts thinking that we were looking Kool .. :) . Tried to become each other wing man also :) . Giving innovative names to teachers , stealing people lunch or making monitor mess :) . Hanging out in newly built Delhi hat bazaar on week end Or Reaching Lodhi Garden or Sanjay park every morning on summer vacations. Going for local cricket championship ..(Jags and other folks were really good cricker .. I was average player but was on good improving curve ) or searching Palika Bazar for new video game CD or new Rolex / Omega watch from street hawkers :)
I started going to Jags's home and it was my first experience to Bengali culture . He was very strict in attending evening pooja .. I also sometimes sit with him for this and went to couple of times in CR park. Jags used to play harmonium for prayer .. It was so great .. I tried to learn but my mind was so fickle to learn any music instrument.. ..It stated my desire to learn any music insturment . Jags was different preson in home. He got great etiquette and has rich vocab ( Two diverse vocab set : ) . My first experience with multi personality person :) ) With so much masti , we both improved our grades . I was topper in school and Jags was coming 3 rd .
I changed the school because of some reasons . Jags and I both changed our place . I met with Jags after 12 years on this Jan ( Thanks Orkut !! ) .. I could not talk with him much as it was small get together . .
I came to Delhi on this March and decided to met with him in person .. Before meeting in person with Jags .. I was worried what we will talk as there is whole disconnect of 12 years ..But when we met .. we just talked like as there was no disconnect .. I think this is the quality of old and real friends , whenever you met them ., you will not find disconnect It was so fun to meet with old friend . This guy liked our conversation so much that he took office off on Monday ...
Currently , Jags also started playing guitar . I was getting bore so he gave me his guitar and tried to taught me couple of songs... All in vain :) Attaching One prayer ( Bengali ) and one song .. Jags is singing
Currently , Jags is trying to go to UK for MBA studies .He is a lead in Delhi based company. Vicky is in working in IT company. .
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