I just miss my friends …..

I changed couple of schools but never had any nostalgia feeling . Same with college .. May be , I always had a good friend circle near residence place .

When i left Delhi and came to hyderabad . I landed up in a org which has very less attrition rate . More over , i was staying in environment totally different from where i came from. There was very less contact with external world . So office people became family .  I managed a good friend circle and some 3 years ago , one of my friend in that circle left . This is the first time , i felt really odd …. But Time passes by ..
Some good friends either left the company or got transfered to USA or got into different teams or got married .

When ever some one leaves , whom i really cares about . I generally used to say couple of things to myself..

1. Nature does not support vacuum.

2. Shawshank Redemption dialogue “Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”

Just within last couple of months , All my good friends either left or planning to shift  .. Some times , It feel so bad and lonely when i found them leaving  .. as you grow older , it is very difficult to make new friends . Generally , you start judging people . ..

I was talking to my friend who is also leaving and he told me that it is better not to discuss this feeling with any one because sharing this feeling is of no use … One of the good thing which he told is
“Let them leave .. u did not marry with them so why you were expecting a long term commitment “ ..
I really liked this ..

May be separation is always important .. I hope I will grow up more and have more mature personality when my good friends leave …. :(

But yeah …. I just miss my friends .

Parenting – Tough job

Some time ago , I was having some discussion with my mom over phone on some important point . We both were not in sync and some how my tone got changed …. ( My Bad :(  ) . My mom sensed it out and just hung up the phone saying that you would understand whey you become father … 

Any way this was not the first time I heard this sarcasm from her and I guess not the last time , at least till I really become one .  I generally don’t pay much attention on such comments as I am sure when I call her . Both of us will be normal after a heated discussion and that is common for any parent – child relationship. But this time , i put some thought on this .. Reasons could be as some of my friends got married or some become / going to become  parents soon or I had to pass the time or find some topic for blog :)

I tried to see parent – child  issues from parent side .  So , we should start from married life . Married life is bliss for most of the people i know . But one thing i noticed that after marriage people get into  new commitments  for their spouse and they had to lessen their activity with their office / non office group .  So .. I guess it is the first sacrifice :) ..  During the pregnancy, working woman had to do some compromise with office work .. Carrying a baby for whole 9 months not an easy job . ..

For 1- 5 years , it is very critical period for baby ..  Protecting your clothes , learning to change dipers or keeping awake whole night as child sleeping time does not match .  Try to teach basics like ABC or 123 and keep listening it again and again … Remembering all dates for vaccination or saving your papers when child starts learning to walk.

5 –10 years , getting admission in school , picking from school , teaching new stuff , start liking cartoon networks or telling bed time stories or attending B’day parties

Teen age : Very difficult time , Replying on tough questions like why hair  - on the arms , legs , and other unimaginable places - what good does that do anyone ?  or for some Girls .. some games become tough like soccer .. Boys .. harder time with the body hair and the high-pitched fluctuations of a breaking voice , not to mention acne..Teaching how to adapt with first heart burns .. or adapting them to cut throat competition .

18-22 : Career Career :) ..Only one question :::  kaya banoga ( what will you  become ) ? Whether my child get into good college .. And after college whether he / she will get some good jobs .. Moreover , Children also start challenging the parents… Generations gap start looking more visible ….

22 – 30 :  Parents got in tension of getting child into a job and after that ..  either searching for child’s spouse ( if arranged ) or may be coping with children’s choice ( love ) .. or may be nothing …

I think , parenting is not an easy job .. Sometimes we just start taking our parents for granted as we know that our parents will forgive us as they love us …. Dont take for granted as it is short life …

Naseeruddin and his son

Last month , I was in Delhi . My nephew ( 6 years old ) visited me . He bought one story book which he asked me to read for him ... 

I picked one of Naseeruddin story believing that it would have some jokes .. But it turn another but interesting way ..... Jotting down the story in brief

 Once , Naseeruddin and his son were passing through a city with their donkey. Naseeruddin was walking  , while his son sat on the donkey . As they passed by a group of people, on of  them  said "Look, how selfish this boy is!  He is riding on the donkey, while  his poor father is walking."

 The boy felt  embarrassed
 and the two reversed the arrangement.  Now the people  remarked, " What a cruel father he is! The little boy is walking and he is riding on the donkey."

Soon, they came across another group of people . Again , they heard a remark , "What a cruel father he is ! His Little boy is walking and he is riding on the donkey "

The remark upset Naseeruddin . He decided that both of t hem would ride on the donkey . Soon , the donkey started walking with both the father and the son on his back .

As they both rode , they passed by another group of people . One of them said , " Look at them , how cruel they are ! Both of them are riding on the donkey."

Hearing this , Naseeruddin suggested his son both of them should walk . The child agreed , and the three started walking.

Soon , they came across another group of people , and heard the remark , : look at these fools . Both of them are walking and neither is riding on the donkey."

Hearing this , Naseeruddin advised his son not to listen to people and follow his heart to do the right thing . Thereafter , the father and the son never bothered what the people said , and did what they felt right. 

Tips for Advancing your career

Author ::  Wael Bahaa-El-Din 

You own your career and have the best interest in being successful.  Everyone should be the primary force behind planning their own career and putting enough thought towards reaching their goals.  Your managers can and should help and guide you in planning but they cannot be responsible for it.

Six areas that will help advance and plan your career are:

1.       Creating the Vision and Establishing Long-Term Goals

2.       Planning and Execution

3.       Your Skill Set

4.       Attitude and Character at the Workplace

5.       Selecting Your Assignments

6.       The Importance of Your Environment

 Here are some thoughts on each one of these areas:

Creating a Vision and Establishing Long-term Goals

Developing a vision for yourself will help you determine a clear destination and direction. A Personal Vision will also assist you in avoiding detours from your overall career goals which will get you to your destination faster.  It will help you make decisions about projects, jobs, and skills that will assist you in achieving your goals.  Here are tips to help with the long-term planning and the achievement of your goals:

·         Set Goals Aligned to Your Division - Seek to understand the hard customer or engineering issues facing your Division and align your goals with solutions to those issues. Addressing things that are of upmost importance to your team and larger group will get more visibility and  advance your career faster.

• Become a Subject Matter Expert (SME) - Create a long term goal to develop expertise in a critical area that you are passionate about.  Experts in key areas get the best assignments, enjoy their work more than others, and advance quickly in their careers.
• Be Patient and Work On It! - People become passionate about areas that they understand in great depth.  It takes time to reach this level of depth.  Grow expertise gradually.  Every day counts! Improve your skills, execution of plans, and character (Attitude, Beliefs, and Values) incrementally to reach your goals - selecting the best projects and environment to aid in your growth.
• Monitor Your Progress - Your long-term plan needs short milestones to monitor your success against your goals.
• Enjoy the Journey - It is very rewarding to plan a challenging goal and to reach it.

Planning and Execution

Once you have a vision, a plan, and short-term milestones, you need to passionately drive for results.  The short-term work items in your plan should go beyond the work goals and should include improving your skills.  Solid execution means delivering reliably, creatively, and at very high quality..  Developing your own standard of excellence helps significantly in developing your credibility and reputation.  Here are more tips to help you in planning and execution:

• The Secret Sauce: Enjoy What You Do - in the long-term, execution is not just about hard and creative high-quality work.  To be successful, one needs to:

• Enjoy and be passionate about your work.
• Maintain balance in work, life, family, and other areas competing for time and attention.

• Prioritize and Focus - Always keep a prioritized list of things you need to do and focus on the most important items.
• Plan for all Possible Scenarios - People who do successful planning for a large product or even a small meeting have one thing in common. They can think and visualize the different scenarios that might happen during the execution in great detail (this usually needs going over these scenarios in detail with persistence and patience).
• Deliver - Delivering on your commitments and making things happen is a very enjoyable but difficult process. Many people have great ideas but they can’t get them implemented because of lack of discipline, detailed planning, and/or follow-up. This negatively impacts their careers.
• Have a Reputation for Getting Things Done - This will make it easier for you to get the most important and visible assignments and all the resources to do them.
• Produce High Quality Work – Better than expected quality, product, or results gets attention and sets you up for more challenging assignments in the future.
• Shine Through Challenges - Execution is considered outstanding when it meets a challenging schedule or creatively solves a historically challenging problem.
• Monitor and Continuously Re-Evaluate Your Goals - As part of monitoring execution, it is good to revise your goals periodically to adjust your long-term goals.

Your Skill Set

Advancing your technical, communication, people, and leadership skills is essential to getting interesting assignments and advancing your career.  Some skills can take years to develop.  Therefore, people who put off the improvement of their skills are impacting the type of assignments that are given or can select.  Here are tips about some of the skills you need:

• Technical Skills - Work on advancing your technical skills with every project and assignment (e.g, development, planning, strategy, debugging, testing technologies, performance analysis, customer scenarios, customer requirements, quality, architecture and understanding the ecosystem) to reach your overall goals.  Technical skills about high quality engineering is particularly important -- developing the right products for our customers and building our products in the right way.
• Communication Skills – Sharpen your communication and presentation skills to increase visibility of your ideas and your impact on others.  The most important characteristic for leadership is good communication.
• People Skills – These are essential skills for individual contributors as well as leads.  This includes team-work, listening skills, sensitivity to others, emotional intelligence, social skills, … For managers, people skills include connecting to their teams, recruiting great talents, and developing people over time.
• Leadership skills – These skills are essential for leads and managers.  There are many good books to read in this area, as well as courses offered by the Management Development Group.  A golden rule in leading a team is “Love them and lead them”. Also, you need to have distinguishing technical and/or personality attributes for people to follow you (you can’t depend on authority alone). You also need to be way ahead of your group in thinking of vision, strategy, and direction to lead your group well.
• Training – Make sure you read books and journals and expand your knowledge by attending relevant talks, seminars, courses, and conferences.  Take advantage of the frequent and wide-ranging internal seminars and research presentations as well as external talks (e.g.. webcasts from strong university programs).
• Incremental Progress - Expand your skills and expertise incrementally.  It is amazing to see the difference in skills and progress achieved over several years as a result of the accumulation of persistent small improvements every day.

Attitude and Values at the Workplace

Acquiring the right attitude, values and beliefs will give you energy and commitment to continue being productive. Attitude and beliefs develop as you gain confidence in your abilities and believe in your work.  Here are some tips to improve your attitude and beliefs:                   

• Seek Traits of Successful People - There are excellent books in this area.  Reading will help in pointing out what attitudes you need for success, understand the negative habits that are impacting you and others (so you can get rid of them), and recognizing why people around you are succeeding or failing.  In a way, books will help you understand actions and reactions of yourself and others.  Some important characteristics are passion, responsiveness, energy, discipline, patience, persistence, endurance, cooperation, modesty, expressing gratitude, taking risks, being proactive and appreciation of others. As you understand your strengths, polish them for long term success..
• Practice Makes Perfect - There are so many attitudes and beliefs that are helpful for success and it is not easy to acquire new ones. Only months and often years of persistence and practice can impact your character – but it’s worth it!
• Discover Your Weakness - Some very skilled and experienced people don’t realize their full potential because of weaknesses in their character (no respect/appreciation for others, arrogance, lack of maturity, childish behavior, uncontrolled temper, negative attitude, selfishness, intolerance, insensitivity,. etc).  Realizing one’s weaknesses is the first step towards improving one’s character.  If these people knew the opportunities they miss, they would have planned major changes to their behavior.

Selecting Your Assignments

A great project is the most important method to improve your planning, execution, skills, and character.  Selecting the projects you work on is important in reaching your short and long-term goals and in gaining the confidence and skills to do bigger and more important projects.  If you have great ideas, you might be able to suggest a project to work on based on these ideas.  Realize however, you may not get some exciting projects until you prove you are reliable and have the skills to see a complete project through.   Here are some tips about project selection:

• Be Realistic - Some people fail in their projects because of the gap between what is required by a given project and the skills, character, execution, and planning capabilities they possess.  Therefore, you need to understand your capabilities and be honest with others and yourself about what you can do.
• Evaluate Project Visibility and Importance - You need to determine how visible and important the project is that you are about to work on. Visible and important projects make a greater impact on your career.  Interesting projects that have bad business plans are likely to be cancelled.
• Does This Assignment Help You Grow? - You need to determine how the project will help your skills and your ability to work on interesting future projects.
• Follow Through – Important: If you start a mission, take it to completion.
• Take Ownership - As your experience improves, getting ownership of an important project is essential for progress and success.
• Innovation – You need to have an exciting vision and innovative ideas to energize yourself and your teams.  It is essential for the group’s long-term success.

The Importance of Your Environment

Finally, some comments about the environment that you are working in:

• Right Place, Right Time - It is very important to be in the right team and have supporting management to reach your goals and achieve your maximum potential. You need to select a team that will challenge you, help you learn, and give you opportunities to grow.
• Know What to Avoid - Avoid teams that have political infighting or have severe management problems.  Working in these teams will only waste your time and energy.
• Choose an Encouraging Environment - Appreciation and gratitude expressed from the managers and the team members to each other creates a very healthy and productive environment.
• Communicate With Your Manager - Communicate closely with your manager about your progress, your challenges, your career, your expectations, etc.  This removes any possible misunderstanding about your deliverables.  Frequent one-on-ones are the best method for tracking and revising short-term and long-term milestones and goals.  There should be few surprises at review time.
• Get Your Manager’s Support – Let your manager know what support you need from him/her to reach your goals.

Koooool !!

oLike any one, I have different definitions of  Koool  which keep changing with age and environment ..
I remember when I was school boy, for me being Kool means bringing sandwitches or italian food in school tiffins [At that time there was no Pizza hut :)] or having full collection of WWF or cricket's trump cards or moving around in school suits or hanging around Chanakya cinemas’s Nirulas or different places in Delhi with gang or getting in good college. Also everyone has different definitions like some want to become monitor or prefect was a Kool stuff but for me it was so unKool .. Takes away my freedom :).
In college , Being Kool means having different mobile sets [ mobile set came around that time only ] or having broadband at home [ It was also new at that time ] or coming to college in car or bikes [ CBZ and pulsar :) ] or getting dressed up in brands of UCB / Reebok / Nike or knowing all english songs or having great accent or watching friends [ Ha Ha Ha] or watching english movies on desktop  or listing Rock or having new gizmos or landing up in good company or cracking CAT / GRE was kool .
Later in Job... Being Kool means getting cabin or getting out of turn promotions or good rewards or rating or ... hoping around good companies or starting up a  successful start ups or having a great friend circle or going out for lunch or watching different movies in halls or having interesting stuff to tell what you did on weekend or going to foreign locations for holidays or buying SUV / sedan or trying different eating  or attending some concerts or  partying around or having really expensive gizmos as they launched became definition of Koool [ Ha Ha Ha ] ...
May be later .. Being Kool may be being well settled in family and professional life .. God Knows :)
As time goes on, we can see definition is changing.... I think most of these things are quite materialistic....
In my life, whether school or college or job, I saw many people show above things of being Kool ... but i saw them collapsing when they could not get admission in good college or good company or their friends / family left them or they failed in job interviews or missed some promotions or struck in same stuff for long or IN SHORT ... when things are not going according to their plans.... I know.. Getting depressed on failures quite natural .. What unKool is when you just make mountain out of molehills on initial blows and start living in pain ..
I think being Koool means how you behave when things are not going well... how you keep your brain at ease when things are not going according .. How you talk with others sensibly when you have lot of other problems going in your mind... or how is your emotional level when you loose something very important..or how is your decision  making when road ahead is blocked or you moved too far away and lost...or how you are nice but still don’t allow anyone to take use of you .. or how you take decisions when things are ambiguous . Being Koool does not mean only stop worry but also to find solution of the problem without losing calm of yours and surroundings...
No doubt, age (experience) has big role in being real Kool .. Through out of my life , In my peer group ,  found three people ( one from college and two from office)whom i will say Kool because they showed how Kool they were when things were really not favorable ..
I will avoid quoting the names.. I just asked one my Koooolest friend when he was facing one of his big problem..  Dude .. How can be so calm and compose when you are against this hell [issue]
He gave me some tips:-
1. Think whether it will be issue in next 5 years: - When something worry you too much ask this question.. This will help in weeding out stuff which is not worthy to worry about. [I am trying this ... Not an easy stuff to put in habit]
2. Have a life: - Think about stuff which really excites you... Don’t think how its face value in external world. It could be blogging, sketching, playing guitar , working out in gym, reading or even  gossiping
Some other things i liked [from other source]
3. Don't take yourself  (or things) so serious [ source : Fountain Head] :  It will certainly remove the stress .Life will be more fun ... Don’t think world moves around you or think too much what world will say about your actions [ Believe me people have short memory and no one has time to think about you except you are a manager :) ]
4. Live in the present [Famous Sunscreen song]: Most of the problems we think.. never happens ... Baz Luhrmann's SunScreen explains it best "Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday."
Not easy tips J .. Its very hard to change ….. J but not impossible.
At the end we all want to be Koool .. We all want to enjoy the life .. May be the definitions be different ..may be path to reach it be different .. But if we want it .. we have to work for it .. As nothing comes for free ….

Story of two old friends – Jags and Vicky

 met with Jags aka Jaggu dada aka bengali  first time some 17 years ago in my school . He was one of the biggest bully , I have encountered in school. At that time , He was taller and stronger than his peers .  He knew all kind of words which we even did not know the meaning at that time . Those words seems new in dictionary .. Only thing we knew that we are not supposed to ask their meaning from elders :)  . I was good student ... Life was going fine ... There were small - small fights over missing lunch box or pencil box lost or  summer vacations assignments missing but life was fun :)  ..
In 7th standard , on one fine day ... Jags and I got involved in a fight and I broke my leg :) .. Ha Ha ..  Jags and Bunny ( Pankaj Baniyawal , another bully)  dropped me at home instructing about code of conduct that i am not supposed to tell how it happened ....I reached home and told my sisters that It just happened while playing :) .. But my happiness were short lived as one of my  caring friend dropped home in evening and told whole incidence to my sister .. My sister went to school next day and told everything to Pricipal . Grrr .. I dont know why ???? :)  .. when class came to know about the complaint .. I became subject of shame in peers as I broke the bro's code of conducts ...... Jags was asked to come in staff room and I don’t  know what happened inside but  he came back with cool face that nothing happened in staff room ( Lyer :) ) .. I wish story ended here but it's not  :( ... Couple of my locality friend , got hold of Jags after school and gave him a little thrash . My friends did  not tell me about this .This might have given image boost  and ego satisfaction to my locality friend but it ignited the matter . On next day , when i reached school with broken leg .. I got to know whole incidence and Man.. I was become villain .. I remember , next day in assembly , my principal told " I will not tell the name of student..but one student who got his leg fractured asked outside people to resolve conflict .. This is wrong .. Talk with teachers .. Oppss looks the guts of 7th standard student ..Grrr " .. ... Yes .. Thanks Principi .. You did best effort to hide my identity ... All teachers saw me as they did not expect me that i could have done that ... I was thinking .. Yaar .. I got my leg fractured .. I did  not call any one .. and still i am getting  blamed ...... And during lunch recession , Jags was laughing like hell .. Making my wounds more severe :)
But after this incidence , Bully group stopped bullying me . I guess they were little bit impressed that my local friends involved in matter without my asking and moreover feeling guilty that i am coming school for whole 6 weeks with broken leg .. Other group did not like ( or scared ) with whole incidence ...... This was my first experience of changing group dynamic ism .  Jags and his friends  became my friends . I started helping them in assignments and in exams cheating .. They helped me in bunking classes by including me in Scouts or Sports practice  . Jags and I became good friends . I still remember , we used to go to Priya  and used to stand in long queues for 12 Rs ticket . I used to run away from my lawn 's  gate and took my sister's scooty to go to Chanakya for night show  with Jags and other friends.  We used to go to Pragati Maidan ( which was free ) and used to jump to Appu Ghar ( which was paid ) :) as both have same boundary .  Did all possible styles with tie , blazers , pull overs and tucking of shirts  thinking that we were looking Kool .. :) . Tried to become each other wing man also :) .  Giving innovative names to teachers , stealing people lunch or making monitor mess :) . Hanging out in  newly built Delhi hat bazaar on week end Or Reaching Lodhi Garden or Sanjay park every morning on summer vacations. Going for local cricket championship ..(Jags and other folks were really good cricker .. I was average player but was on good improving curve ) or searching Palika Bazar for new video game CD or new Rolex / Omega watch from street hawkers :)

I started going to Jags's home and it was my first experience to Bengali culture . He was very strict in attending evening pooja .. I also sometimes sit with him for this and went to couple of times in CR park.   Jags used to play harmonium for prayer .. It was so great .. I tried to learn but my mind was so fickle to learn any music instrument.. ..It stated my desire to learn any music insturment . Jags was different preson in home. He got great etiquette and has rich vocab (  Two diverse vocab set : ) . My first experience with multi personality person :)  )  With so much masti , we both improved our grades . I was topper in school  and Jags was  coming 3 rd .

I changed the school because of some reasons . Jags and I both changed our place .  I met with Jags after 12 years on this Jan ( Thanks Orkut !! )  .. I could not talk with him much as it was small get together . .

I came to Delhi on this March and decided to met with him  in person .. Before meeting in person with Jags .. I was worried what we will talk as there is whole disconnect of 12 years ..But when we met .. we just talked like as there was no disconnect .. I think this is the quality of old and real friends , whenever you met them ., you will  not find disconnect  It was so fun to meet with old friend .  This guy liked our conversation so much that he took office off on Monday ...
Currently , Jags also started playing guitar  . I was getting bore so he gave me his guitar and tried  to taught me couple of songs...  All in vain :) Attaching One prayer ( Bengali ) and one song .. Jags is singing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONgLj8PuEBY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SQDicmfK60

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8xwz0Lzvj8

Currently , Jags is trying to go to UK for MBA studies .He is a lead in Delhi based company.  Vicky is in working in IT company. .

Be Slow and Give time to Acclimatize

We want to pick up many things  ..We want to catch hold of most of our desires as early as possible ... Interesting , our demands starts becoming too diverse that it becomes to hard  to achieve them at a same time .. We try to do multi task but it hardly works most of time ...Our goals are so high that they need 100% ...

I will suggest that we can not do everything at once , on the first day in a job or the first few months of a relationship .. Being too fast in school , in job , or in relationships , one won't be ready for or capable of adjusting to , surprises and changes .. One may fail and may go through all heart burns and feeling low ..

Take hard decision to park other goals for a while and pick up one thing only .. Go slowly , gain experiences and strength ... and later take on extra responsibilities and increase the load by picking more stuff :) 

Be slow and give time to acclimatize . Have patience .. You don't have to be hero on the first day .. You just need to be you ......

Review Time - To Do List

Some 6 months ago , One of my good old friend told very seriously about  "To Do" list  and suggested me  to watch "dasvidaniya" and "bucketlist" came up.. I downloaded both but could see "dasvidaniya" only . I found it nice .. I liked the concept that at the end .. Hero looked for the incomplete desires which may not look big for others.... We keep on postponing these small ( or Big ) desires till end and never complete them... So , I decided to make my list and would review them back on Feb ( after 6 months )  .....  I thought that it is too personal and why should i share in blog but on second thoughts , it may help some one to make his own "To Do List"

S.No	WishList	Result
1.	*******	Put my best efforts ... But failed :(  ..........
2.	*******	Failed again :(  ..
	Sketching	Started  sketching after gap of 5 years  and overcome shyness to share with folks ….. I am not as good as I used to be.... But I realized that it was not as hard to restart  again :) .. .
4.	Ride on bullet and travel around on Highways with friends.	Completed with group of best friends . Went for 4 day bike journey in Leh / Ledhak / kashmir . Nice journey .. Lot of amazing  stories .  It was nice bro group ! ...
	Get rid of my fear of heights	Last year , I developed fear of heights because of an  accident  … I want to get rid of it . Went to couple of mountains in  J&;K, Pune and Karnataka ...
	Learn a music instrument	Learning guitar for last 4-5 months. Taking professional help  .. I am very bad at it …..Learning very slow ...But my teacher and my friend keep encouraging me :)
	Have a pet	Buzo ;) .. My Building dog !
8.	Be regular in Gym	Lost 10 Kg weight in last 4 months :) .  Thanks to my instructor who calls me every morning .
	Improve my communication specially vocal ..	Still pending … :(  . Went to Toastmaster , pick up couple of grammar books , Reading variety of books , started blogging but still long way to go for …..
	Help others in achieving their dreams and talking with people	This is long wish ..    I stated calling back home  and old frds. Proactively Started helping colleagues and non colleagues whenever possible

At the end of 6 months ,When I see back ... I might haven't have done exception job but certainly put efforts on all  wishes .... I know this wish list seems quite simple .. it doest not have very big goals but I want to make it very simple and short time bound .. 


I learnt three things with this activity : 

1. Write down your wish list and giving some time on AIs.

2.  For me , all above wishes were pending for a long time and I was not able to give time to them ...But when I wrote down them and started devoting  some time then I found that our desires are not as difficult as we initially thought of before starting them . ... 

So Rather than devoting time on dreaming about dreams .. start putting some time on dreams ...... Try to come to reach some logical conclusion as this will help to pick up new dreams ... Our brain is just like bucket .. Take out some stuff so that new stuff can come up :) 

3. Every package comes with a price tag and one needs to pay for it .. On working for my "To-do" list , I realized that i am paying a price for it ...... It was mix feeling , I was excited and happy as I was working on my To DO list  

but little bit tense as paying a price in one or some other form .. So be ready to sacrifice when you are working on "to do" list .. Nothing comes for free :) ..So better make a choice now  rather repenting later for price.....


Want to make next "To Do" list soon .. First item on  my next "To Do" list is :::: > Make a "To Do" List :) 

Tell your 3 weakness -- Same old question

I heard this question first time when I was preparing for campus recruitment .. I remember I was so surprised that why other people want to know my weakness  , he should be worried about his own weakness and my skill set  ....... Any how , Lot of people came up with lot of answers where weakness was actually a strength :) .. I also made one answer but no one asked me in any of my interviews .. :)

I got into other part of india for work. On the first day , I was asked to meet Big shot. At the end of meeting  , he asked me "dude tell me ur 3 weakness " and after a gap " Dont give me crap by telling your weakness which are indirect strengths"   .. I had no answer and asked for time  .. He smiled and asked me to come back when I figured out . Both of us never talked on this topic again. But .. I am sure , by now , he must be knowing my weakness more than me ....

Time passes by ... Recently , 2-3 friend  got  interview calls from management institute.  We discussed what should they write  about weakness which are actually strength in their essays . Similarly in interview training , It's being suggested to have some questions ready acting as ice breaker or time filler .. ".... Weakness " fits in those questions' suit.

Issue is ....Could there be something which sounds bad in society but actually could be good for you ... It is quite interesting  .....

Selfishness :  This words fills with the image of greedy and mean person .We all want to be called "Nice guy" and for this we start doing stuff for others at the cost of our own priorities .We say that "Can't say  NO" .. This could be good for sometime but  in a long run this will no work..   We can not keep whole world happy .. If we try then we will certainly landup in disappointment and burdening ourself too much ..We need to setup a boundary some where .

 Self development is a selfish act because you are working on making your life happy . But the thing is that by focusing on helping yourself first you can become stronger and help others in a better way too.

Laziness:  Human is lazy by nature .. This is the reason why there are so many machines / gadgets / new inventions / services in the market .  Being Lazy is good if you focusing your energy on your priorities and dropping low priority stuff . Dropping / Delegating low priority stuff will give your more bandwidth and give relaxation to work more on high priority stuff. Being Lazy may help in discovering  new innovative methods to work thing faster and efficient.

Ruthlessness: Being ruthless , in a bit , could be helpful . You need to take some hard decisions and cut off the stuff which are not in your priorities . Being ruthless will give you time and energy to focus on your topmost priorities . Some of the examples could be skipping some social engagements for your exams / goals or dropping your fav dish  for loosing weight etc . Being Ruthless is not always fun, but you have to be the boss of your life. You have to make the decisions and say NO both to yourself and to others , if necessary.

Any way , Don't answer above three if some one ask your weakness in interview .. You better know why :) . Moreover , Don't make an assumption  that I exhibit all three features :) . I may or may not !

PS : Selfishness becomes real issue when it brings up other emotions like jealousy and envy .  Ruthlessness is hard but one should avoid hurting other people dreams and heart for the sake of being a ruthless person :) . One should have valid reasons for being selfish and ruthless for an act..

Failure....

In interviewer training , presenter asked why many companies prefer experienced employees than freshers . There were many valid answers but one of the most convincing answer to me -- " More experience means person might have faced more failures and thus underlying expectation that those same mistakes might  not be repeated "

Failure is natural part of the learning process ... When we were kid , we fell many time while learning walking   .. We failed many times in learning any new skill  , starting  from learning basic algebra  to learning cycling ... But as we grow on as Adult ...Unfortunately , Society associates shame with any type of failure ...This forces many people to follow the prescribed path with less risk  , as opposed to taking risk of path less traveled as it may cause disappointment.

Failure means that you are taking new challenges and expanding your skills ... Failure means you are trying to learn new things ... Failure means you tried to do something which you believed on even if  it is not common path ..Remember ,,, graph of most of successful careers are not a straight line but a wave with ups and downs.....e.g Steve Jobs.  Even if I go by probability , for more number of success there should be similar number of failures..... So risk of  failure will always be there for any new thing or working for dreams. In fact , failures can serve as incredible opportunities in disguise... It force us to reevaluate our goals and priorities , and ofter propel us forward much faster than continued success .So failure should not be considered as bad .. In case , one meet with some one from silicon valley  , people took pride to tell they were part of start up which failed..

Bad thing which failure can cause to person is that he start to linger on it ... "Successful" failure requires sometime quitting ... Quitting is considered as sign of weakness , although sometimes , quitting is the bravest alternative , because it requires you to face your failures and announce them publicly . It tells that you control the situation and can leave whenever you like. It gives a chance to start from a clean slate and if you introspect then quitting can be an invaluable experience.

One of the biggest dilemma I face is when to quit . There is no fixed answer for this .. But one need to listen his gut feeling , be honest with self  and keep analyzing the situation at regular intervals of time  .... It is always easier to quit at the beginning than at the end because at end we think too much is invested and thus too hard to quit....  Remember there are sometimes situations which are never going to work out , no matter how much time , efforts and money you invest .. Regular checks may help to find these deadlocks @ early stage and one can quit early........ Quitting is always haaaard :-(

Coming back to failure .... Failing is nooooot a fun but there is no harm to try for the things which you believe in and failing  rather than not trying them and repenting later just because you fear failures ..

Death is the ultimate failure which every one will face .. So why we fear other little failures ?